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The Introvert on stage

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  I may or may not have mentioned this previously, but I used to love singing. Even thought it would be my career for a long time, until my crippling stage-fright became too much to manage.  I left school at 16, and started college just before I turned 17, studying Rock Music and singing. Which required me to move out of home, into the halls of residence, as we lived too far away for me to commute. I remember thinking I was so grown up, and so ready to live independently. So wrong on many levels, but looking back, I have no regrets about it - so many of my life learning experiences were in that first year away from home, and it probably speeded up the process of some of that learning. I'm putting a positive spin on it (as is my usual way of being!), as I'm under no illusions that there are lots of things that were not good about that first year of independence, but I don't see any point in dwelling on things that may or may not have happened if things had been different....
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A Quiet Summer?

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    Oh, the things I will do as an introvert to get to stay home! So, we are getting a new puppy.    We had to say goodbye to our beautiful Bailey (see pic at bottom not long after we got her) last year when she was 15 and a half, who we rescued in 2015 when she was about 7 years old. The last year of her life was pretty tough on all of us as she had massive health issues and was pretty blind, so we really needed some time to process her not being there any more, and I really didn't know if I would want another dog. But my eldest son, who was terrified of dogs up until the point where we got Bailey, has been relentless in his persuasion tactics, sending videos of cute puppies, and making us sit down and have some discussions about what kind of dog we wanted, when the best time to get one would be - and eventually at some point, one of us agreed and there was no going back. And now we are all very excited, as we are going to choose our puppy tomorrow, and bring it hom...
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How Introverted am I?

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  Ooh, this is always a great question and topic to dive in to!  Being an Introvert is still ‘new’ in my life - I’ve only been aware of it for about 12 years. Previous to that, I genuinely thought there was something wrong with me that I needed to try to fix, to ‘fit in’ with everyone around me. I’m sure there were lots of people around me who knew I was introverted, more than I did! And probably didn’t mention it because they assumed I already knew… Let me tell you, trying to fit in with some of the people I was spending time with felt so hard - but I didn’t understand why. They were all able to party hard and often, and recover quickly, and I was this permanently exhausted and confused hanger-on - often trying to tag on to groups of people who were not necessarily ‘my people’.  I was a singer back in my younger years, and as an introvert, this was an even harder industry to work in, feeling the way I did. My inability to ‘fit in’ and be like some of the other outgoing m...
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The Dangers of Stereotyping

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The day I learned I was an introvert, it was like the clouds opened up and a shining glow poured through and over me, lighting up everything around me in a warm glow, and everything finally made sense in my life.  And I lived happily ever after... Umm nope. Not even close.  It was about 12 years ago now, and sometimes I feel like I'm even more confused today than I was back then. I even wonder if I'd have been better off never knowing this about myself, living in a permanent state of exhaustion, and thinking I was just a bit lazy...  Realistically, knowing is better than not knowing in this case - in my opinion. There have been so many huge eye-opening discoveries along the way, and I am so much better at being able to understand my moods and my energy now. And I don't try to keep up with people who are quite clearly NOT introverts. Including the one I married 21 years ago.  To be honest, I often think it's been harder on him than it has me. He sees no reason to chan...
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Big, Audacious Goals

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Writing Retreat - Take 2 If you've read my previous blogs, you may have already heard of my disastrous first attempt at a writing retreat.    I'll be honest, as much as I'm sure I would meet some amazing and inspirational people, the idea of a group writing retreat just makes me feel exhausted before I even start. Lots of people talking about how to write, what to write - I don't think I'd achieve anything, except maybe gain an even bigger case of Imposter Syndrome than I have already - if that is even possible.    Maybe once I've got one book under my belt I might consider it, but for now, I'm happy with the lifetime access I have to a course on writing, from the incredibly creative Neil Gaiman. I wasn't brought up reading his books, but I watched my son's imagination blown away by the movie of Coraline, and then I bought a set of books by him, and loved the fun, fear and fabulous creativity I found there. So I jumped at the opportunity to purchase ...
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The right time to retire?

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  I told my extravert husband he is not allowed to retire until he has a plan, and hobbies. I truly love my husband, but the thought of us retiring together with him having no plan in place for what he will do with his time - that's a horror movie script right there for me!  When we get towards the end of a normal week, I am checking my calendar to make sure we haven't forgotten some big event that is going to eat up all my energy stores. But my husband is often hoping for the complete opposite!  In fairness, since we first met, he has softened and is not as extremely extraverted as he was when I met him, when he was in his late 20's. Then, there was a level of relief for me that we lived quite far from each other. I'd spend a long weekend with him, and we would fill every single minute with activities. Then, I'd return home (or he would, depending on whose city we were tearing up that particular weekend!), having thoroughly enjoyed myself, but almost ready to colla...
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Writing Retreat - Living the Dream!

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I went on my first writing retreat in 2017. I've wanted to write children's books for as long as I can remember. Probably since I was given a copy of Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass by my grandparents, when I was about 7 years old, I think. And then just when I thought books couldn't get any better, they then gave me the whole set of The Chronicles of Narnia a couple of years later, and I was lost again. The idea of other worlds, and other beings, got me through some tough times as a child, and even as a teenager. Then, in my late teens, a friend loaned me a Terry Pratchett book, and I learned that kids books also didn't have to take themselves too seriously. I've always loved to make people laugh, but a life on stage was not for me. My creativity had me fooled for a number of years that I could sing for a living, but my nerves vehemently disagreed, so I'm guessing being a stand-up comedian was probably out too. I eventually became an adult (mo...
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