Showing posts from 2023

The Dangers of Stereotyping

The day I learned I was an introvert, it was like the clouds opened up and a shining glow poured through and over me, lighting up everything around me in a warm glow, and everything finally made sense in my life.  And I lived happily ever after... Umm nope. Not even close.  It was about 12 years ago now, and sometimes I feel like I'm even more confused today than I was back then. I even wonder if I'd have been better off never knowing this about myself, living in a permanent state of exhaustion, and thinking I was just a bit lazy...  Realistically, knowing is better than not knowing in this case - in my opinion. There have been so many huge eye-opening discoveries along the way, and I am so much better at being able to understand my moods and my energy now. And I don't try to keep up with people who are quite clearly NOT introverts. Including the one I married 21 years ago.  To be honest, I often think it's been harder on him than it has me. He sees no reason to change

Big, Audacious Goals

Writing Retreat - Take 2 If you've read my previous blogs, you may have already heard of my disastrous first attempt at a writing retreat.    I'll be honest, as much as I'm sure I would meet some amazing and inspirational people, the idea of a group writing retreat just makes me feel exhausted before I even start. Lots of people talking about how to write, what to write - I don't think I'd achieve anything, except maybe gain an even bigger case of Imposter Syndrome than I have already - if that is even possible.    Maybe once I've got one book under my belt I might consider it, but for now, I'm happy with the lifetime access I have to a course on writing, from the incredibly creative Neil Gaiman. I wasn't brought up reading his books, but I watched my son's imagination blown away by the movie of Coraline, and then I bought a set of books by him, and loved the fun, fear and fabulous creativity I found there. So I jumped at the opportunity to purchase

The right time to retire?

  I told my extrovert husband he is not allowed to retire until he has a plan, and hobbies. I truly love my husband, but the thought of us retiring together with him having no plan in place for what he will do with his time - that's a horror movie script right there for me!  When we get towards the end of a normal week, I am checking my calendar to make sure we haven't forgotten some big event that is going to eat up all my energy stores. But my husband is often hoping for the complete opposite!  In fairness, since we first met, he has softened and is not as extremely extroverted as he was when I met him, when he was in his late 20's. Then, there was a level of relief for me that we lived quite far from each other. I'd spend a long weekend with him, and we would fill every single minute with activities. Then, I'd return home (or he would, depending on whose city we were tearing up that particular weekend!), having thoroughly enjoyed myself, but almost ready to colla

Writing Retreat - Living the Dream!

I went on my first writing retreat in 2017. I've wanted to write children's books for as long as I can remember. Probably since I was given a copy of Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass by my grandparents, when I was about 7 years old, I think. And then just when I thought books couldn't get any better, they then gave me the whole set of The Chronicles of Narnia a couple of years later, and I was lost again. The idea of other worlds, and other beings, got me through some tough times as a child, and even as a teenager. Then, in my late teens, a friend loaned me a Terry Pratchett book, and I learned that kids books also didn't have to take themselves too seriously. I've always loved to make people laugh, but a life on stage was not for me. My creativity had me fooled for a number of years that I could sing for a living, but my nerves vehemently disagreed, so I'm guessing being a stand-up comedian was probably out too. I eventually became an adult (mo

My BFF, the Extrovert

  Whilst I mostly laugh and joke about the difficulties of spending my life with an Extrovert, there's no-one else I would choose to live with, for the rest of my life.  He is an incredibly caring human being, and there are many things about my Extrovert that make my life much better than it would be if I was on my own, or even with another Introvert.  It's very important to remember these, and write them down, so I can read them at times when I am feeling overwhelmed by his noise and presence!     It wasn't until we had been together for a few years that I really started to appreciate these things.  And you also have to bear in mind that we were together for 14 years before I even knew that we were energy opposites! I unbelievably didn't discover I was an Introvert until I was 41 years old. Not sure how I survived in the world being as introverted as I now accept that I am - although I am fully aware that alcohol played a huge part there, which thankfully I have fully

Grief, and life, in all it’s forms.

Been having to say to family and friends - I know I look ok, but I just need you to know, I’m not. I've never been a very openly emotional person I suppose.  I’m more likely to crack a joke than a tear.  Sadly that’s partly because I learned that crying was a weakness - my anger will often spill out of my eyes as tears, rather than from my mouth as words. A very common occurrence, particularly for women I believe. Maybe also the empath and the introvert in me, as I can’t bear the thought of blurting something out in anger that I then can’t ever take back. I didn’t learn it at home - it was learned at work. As a senior manager in very male-dominated environments, when I was close to losing my s*%t with anyone, I’d end up walking away from the situation, as the tears would well up, and I would see the smirks of assumed victory, and have to take an even deeper breath, to stop me going back and saying ALL OF THE THINGS😤! And it’s also partly because I don’t like to put my emotions out