Introvert - So, I Married an Extravert

Hmm, not always true is it? I had a good friend tell me many years ago that once she turned 40, she didn't care what people thought of her any more. I found myself surprisingly then looking forward to turning 40. But my 40th came and went, and my consistent fear of what others thought of me and what I did or didn't do, stayed firmly front of mind. If anything, it got worse, for a while. I would worry about what I hadn't achieved in my life. About things in my past that I wished I could go back and change. Was I a 'good enough' wife and mum? What's the point of the work that I do? And of course, about whether I should pursue writing, which I'd wanted to do for a long, long time. I am so uncomfortable with confrontation, that the idea of saying or doing something that might offend someone actually makes me freeze, and do...nothing! Putting things off, procrastination, fear of failure. All of these were a daily part of my overthinking (covered in a previous ep...

  When will the bubble burst? Do I want it to burst? Is the bubble good, or bad? I have felt in a state of turmoil almost consistently for the past 15 months. I run my own consultancy business, and from January 2015 up until September of 2020, I also ran a small coworking space in my community. A strange choice for an introvert you might think, but I love to help people achieve their potential, and creating a space for like-minded people to run their small businesses from, seemed like the perfect way to meet the people I wanted to work with. (I also previously ran networking events - but let's not go down the rabbit-hole of psychoanalysing that at the moment..🤭) During the last 15 months, I had to decide whether to continue the business I had passionately fought to build ( "it won't work, you're mad, you're wasting your time, why don't you just get a real job". .), and when I decided not to (running a coworking space during lockdowns turned out to not be...

So I've started writing this on 31st December 2018. I might finish it by the end of January knowing my life, but I knew I needed to get some of this out before the end of this year.* Exactly one year ago, I attended a fantastic New Year (Hogmanay) party.  It was here, where I live, in Australia, but it was an entirely Scottish contingent, due to friends and family of friends all being here at the time, and it was a really great night. I don't often enjoy New Year. It's the classic over-rated event of the year for me, as it always seems like a great idea to go somewhere there will be hundreds of people, and then about a week out, I'm praying for storms and hailstones and lightning, so I can choose to stay home instead - why do we do this to ourselves, my fellow Energator? (aside - I am not actually a fan of the word Introvert - I am currently testing out alternatives to see which one I think describes us better... We 'grow' energy, to either use ourselves,...